The words I never thought I’d say again: We’re moving (back) to Alaska

I know many of you reading this already know that we’re leaving Colorado. I know some of you don’t! And so it may come as a shock that we’re heading back to Alaska… again!

But alas, what is that saying? “We make plans, God laughs.”

Or… we make plans, and life takes over! Or… we make plans, and God changes them! Or…. We make plans, despite knowing they may be the wrong ones…. And God corrects us? I don’t know. Whatever the case… the events of these past few months since arriving to Colorado are so odd?, ridiculous?, wild? far beyond our control? that we’re now just surrendering to it. Even my parents have just surrendered to it all.

It is what it is. Colorado is done. We tried. Boy did we ever. We bought a house!

Oh well. It’s on to Alaska!

Ben and I love Alaska. We’ve always loved Alaska. My love began in 2017 when I visited for the first time. Ben’s love began as a kid when he went out there on a fishing trip. You cannot possibly comprehend what an interesting, unique, beautiful, odd, special, majestic place Alaska is until you spend some time there. So please, try not to form too much of an opinion on our move before you do just that.

In 2019 we put our stuff in storage and drove out to Alaska with a Uhaul. We rented a small space downtown and we HATED it. The crime in 2019 was out of control due to a failed crime bill.  And as is common knowledge to anyone who spends any time in Anchorage (or anyone who spends any time in huge cities!) there is a homeless problem in Anchorage. It’s just that in the winter in Alaska… it’s a little more apparent.

As our lease approached renewal, we knew we didn’t want to stay downtown and were having a lot of trouble finding something else. I was missing Colorado, there were some personal things going on back in the states and so when I was offered a travel position to come back to the state, we headed back.  I think it was four months of being back in Colorado before we sat down and realized we’d left too soon, we’d acted in haste, and we missed Alaska. Hindsight is 20/20, right? Looking back, we probably should have just moved away from downtown, stuck it out & then like so many others who make the huge move—we probably would have liked it!

Anyway, moving on.

During the wildest 2020 anyone could have dreamt at the time…. We got married on a mountain top, loaded up our stuff, and headed back to Alaska.  This time we moved to Eagle River.  We loved the town! The house itself had some major issues. And Covid in Alaska was an interesting experience. The mayor of Anchorage was imposing wild rules on people of the area, the hospital I worked at was completely crazy in their demands (if you left the state you had to then quarantine for like 10-14 days before coming back to work – which meant, nobody left because who has that much PTO?) and there was a lawyer hiring freeze. When I got pregnant with Emery I got sick sick sick. So sick that I couldn’t work. When Ben was offered a job in Colorado we knew we needed to leave. I’ll never forget the day we left. Ever.  We were both ….. sad.  We felt we were leaving too soon. I was so excited to go back to Colorado and be closer to my family for my first pregnancy.  But, there was this unspoken heaviness that’s been with us ever since. That was September of 2020.

Flash forward to 2022. This past summer Ben turned down his dream job with the State of Alaska to accept a job in Colorado. From the get-go things with moving back to Colorado were so tough but we just kept ignoring all the struggles that we were facing. We bought a house. We moved in. We attempted to settle down. But there were so many signs…

I was in the beginning of a miscarriage when we realized for certain that Ben’s job here wasn’t going to work out.  You can imagine the overwhelming sadness, stress and disappointment that came with that. I cannot go into detail because this blog is public, but let’s just say the situation was completely nauseating, ridiculous, angering.  What happened… and what is still happening… is mind blowing to us. But again, it is what it is.

Tomorrow Ben starts his new job as an assistant attorney general (the job he turned down over summer). He’ll be in the natural resources department. How fitting considering he literally got a master’s in law in Environmental & Natural Resources! (Again—dream job!) We have a few months before we must move to Alaska…. And he gets to work fully remote until then!

It’s now time to get this house ready to sell! And some other things.  Like prep for a PERMANENT (holy cow!) move to the North.  Find a place to live. Down-size. Pack. Celebrate Emery’s second birthday in April 🙂

Is Alaska my first choice? No. I think if I had it my way, I’d live somewhere near Boulder for the rest of my life.  But we know that’s not in the cards for us. It’s also no longer the best place to raise a baby. And it’s certainly not a place where we can live out our goals of me working less to stay home with her.

I don’t know why things happen the way they do.  But they do.  We had a lot of plans when we decided to move back to Colorado, took a chance on the west slope, and when we bought our house.  They all just…. blew up. We can blame crooked people, or the changing economy, or just…. Life. But I’m not going to place blame. I’m just going to say – it is what it is.

Onward and Upward. Literally! Here’s to the North. Round 3. (And to focusing on all of the AMAZING things we love about Alaska rather than me just focusing on what I’m afraid of: bears and winter!) Haha.

Pray for me 🙂