Pops

It’s weird to know he’s not reading this one. He’s read my blogs for years. Always curious to know what I have to say next on here. He passed away this weekend. I didn’t get to say goodbye in person…. But we did say goodbye over FaceTime this week, and I’ve never been more thankful for technology. Knowing that he was missing me, loves me, and wishes I was there was all I needed to hear as I prepared all week for the phone call. Getting able to tell him I loved him, missed him, and wished I was there with him was all I needed him to know before he left this Earth. Well, that and thank you for being such a good grandpa. I’m not sure I told him that this week? But I’ve definitely told him that before.

Always, always tell loved ones thank you when you feel thankful. It is so important.

I miss him. This death is different from Noni’s because we’d had years to prepare and say our “goodbye” because of how bad her dementia was. She was slowly leaving us, little by little, for years. Pops was with us mentally until the very end.

He passed away with his dog and kids by his side, at home, and how can you ask for more? Surrounded by those you love in your very own home.

I have a hundred memories floating around my head but my most favorite will be saved for his celebration of life….. it’s one of my favorite stories.

I won’t make the celebration of life, so maybe one of my brothers will be able to read my words. I assume I’ll be newly postpartum by then, taking care of a new life instead of saying goodbye to one who meant so much to me.

And so goes the balance of life.

Papa is in a much better place now. Free of cancer. Free of pain and uncertainty. Reunited with Noni.

He passed on Copper’s birthday. So maybe they’ll throw him a salami again when they see him.

As Pops always said, “getting old is the shits, Jenn!”

Isn’t it ever?