Recently Ben was in Colorado and Emery had a swim lesson. I was nervous to take all three kids to swim lessons by myself. I always take Emery on Tuesday nights and I look around me and I see parents on their phones — not even watching their child’s lesson, and kids on their tablets. It makes me sad. Children these days are given a tablet or a screen for everything. We have two little blue Amazon tablets in our house. The kids are allowed to watch a downloaded show on long drives or for special occasions — like air travel. Otherwise, the tablets are kept in a drawer somewhere and we use them so infrequently we forget where they are. I usually have my phone on my lap during the swim lesson. I will respond to a text while keeping my phone on my lap, or update Ben on her progress. My phone stays on my lap. Emery told me her favorite part of swim is looking up and seeing how proud I am of her when she does something great. Her favorite part of swim is watching my reaction to her lesson. How can we let these little devices that are not the real world distract us from the real world? I totally get some parents are working or some are so overwhelmed they need a break. I really do. But I also know that we live in a world where the little computer in the palm of our hand is quickly becoming our reality. I am guilty of using my phone in front of my kids wayyyyy too often at times at home. I need to text someone back. I need to check an app. What’s the weather forecast? Let’s find a new recipe. Here, let me see where that delivery is by checking my email just real quick…. It’s pathetic, really. I truly know it is. We do not need to be this connected! We do not need to know everything right.now. I’m really trying to get better.
The day we took Emery to swim I brought some snacks and a few books and 1 toy for Archie. He walked around, discovered some dump trucks that were already there and played by himself. Occasionally he’d notice something else that interested him, like the fire extinguisher on the wall. After learning he wasn’t allowed to open it, he went in search of something else to do. The lesson ended and we went home. No tablet. No melt downs. He’s been back to swim 2-3x since. He understands that we go to swim for Emery and not for him, and he does well. He is one of the very few children in the room who aren’t handed a tablet to distract them from reality. What would happen if they weren’t just handed the tablet?
Yesterday we took the kids to the Children’s Garden at the Arboretum at the University. I was watching the kids interact with others, as I often do when we’re out somewhere in public with a bunch of random kids & parents, whom we do not know, running around. I notice parents hovering. Talking non-stop. Attempting to entertain their children or get their children to check something out and constantly interfering instead of just letting their children be. Always managing. And I was watching my kids. We showed up to an outdoor cabin-like structure in the middle of the Garden grounds. There were some old tin plates and a basket and a big tin bowl and a broom and place mats and all sorts of things for kids to use their imagination. My confident little kiddos ran over and immediately got to work. Setting the table. Collecting leaves for “dinner”. Sweeping the floor. And while I was watching them from afar, sitting next to Ben on a bench while he held Teddy, I had this moment where I was just so thankful for them. For Ben. For our marriage and our life and our little family. For not letting outside noise and opinions interfere with how we parent. How we- entirely by ourselves (well, and Jesus) – have raised these children. Our children are good children. They have BIG imaginations and BIG feelings. They also have room to breathe. They are social. They are smart. They are confident. They share. They easily make friends anywhere we go. They cry and have melt downs and they throw fits. They’re children, after all. They are good children.
| Jenn at home.... and beyond | 